Much to Think About

Hello, Internet. I am back.

Where have I been, you ask?

Oh, I was just busy getting ready for parenthood before giving birth to the cutest baby boy ever. Then we hit the ground running. Breastfeeding, rocking, changing diapers, waking in the middle of the night, teaching, cuddling. It’s been 5 months and I still have not gotten it down pat. I reckon we will never get it down.

There is much I can say about parenting. No, that’s not quite true. There is much I feel and think on parenting; putting them into words is another matter.

This Monday, I finally published my first piece on my new role as a mother. It took weeks to put that essay together. It was hard work working through the fog of baby-obsessed thoughts. But now that that’s finally done and released, I suddenly feel a renewed vigor to write and keep writing.

I won’t promise anything, yet. Just watch this space.


A Week Away

Ah dear readers. I have failed a week of the writing challenge. There are two main reasons to it:

  • I was travelling
  • I had family visiting

I would like to think that it’s not an a complete failure. It has made me more aware of my lifestyle habits in correspondence to my writing. Unlike some of you out there who may be scribbling away as you traverse the globe, I find that I scribble less when I’m on the move.

Maybe it’s because there’s a break in routine, which makes it harder to get into the zone. Maybe it’s because I get carsick, as much as I’d love to use the hours in the car or bus for writing. Maybe it’s because my energy is focused on the travelling and accompanying activities there really is no time left by the end of the day. Maybe it’s because I have limited internet access. Maybe it’s all of them.

As for family visiting, well, family is higher on my priority list.

I’m not saying all this simply to excuse my absence. I’m penning them down in order to understand my habits and tendencies, and see what I can or should improve on, or figure out a better way to incorporate consistent writing.

One good thing came out of this one week. I may not have posted anything public this week, but I’ve been pondering and grasping a bit more of the topics my heart and mind tend to lean to.

Let’s see if I can make better use of the snippets of in-between times. I think I should get a good writing app on my phone, one that can easily sync to WordPress, or at least my laptop for safekeeping and eventual publishing.

Can any of you recommend a writing app (for Android)?

Habit tracker: Week 4/4; Post 1/5

I’m No Superwoman

It’s been a while since I last linked any of my articles here. Granted, as I mentioned recently, I haven’t been writing as frequently as before, so there’s not much to share anyway.

But this is the latest, and I think it’s something worth highlighting here. It’s about choices, faithfulness, and the pursuit of being perfect. Here’s an excerpt:

In English novelist Jane Austen’s classic, Pride and Prejudice, there is a particular discussion on the attributes of an “accomplished woman”. These are “a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing and the modern languages”, as well as polished manners and an appetite for reading. Elizabeth Bennet, the protagonist, dismisses the entire notion as impossible to achieve.

Even back then, Austen knew that the idea of an ideal woman was unrealistic. You would think that such an idea would have disappeared with the times. However, though the idea has evolved, it still exists today.

You can read the rest of the post here.

And yes, how can I write about being the perfect woman and not mention the accomplished woman in P&P, right?

Habit tracker: Week 3/4; Post 2/5



On the Everyday Need for Trust

via Daily Prompt: Trust

Just a few days ago, we had our air conditioners (or airconds, as the Malaysian-Singaporean lingo goes) serviced. It seems that a common requirement of tenants here is that the airconds in the rented unit be serviced every three months.

Honestly, I didn’t know airconds needed maintenance that often. I sure know we don’t maintain our airconds back home this often, simply because we don’t keep track!

Anyway, I had signed up for a one-year contract, in which we agree to use this particular company’s services for one year. Every quarter, they will call to remind us and schedule an appointment. In return for using their services regularly, we will be saving on costs because the contract is considerably cheaper than a one-off maintenance.

I have nothing to complain about the service offered. They reminded me of the appointment a day before, and the technicians even came early. They did a thorough job, and all the paperwork was in order and as agreed upon. But the whole exercise did make me think about trust.

When I arranged the appointment and agreed to the contract during that first call, who’s to say that the technicians will actually show up at the set time? If they do, what’s to stop them from demanding extra charges to the contract fees? And as for the future, will they honor the next three services to be scheduled in the next 12 months?

And another thing — How will the landlord ever know that we tenants will actually get the airconds serviced quarterly, and not just sneak in a one-time thing just before the end of the lease?

Simply put, trust is required in every step of a transaction, business or otherwise.

Yes, there are a lot of scams and exploitation out there. But by and large, the world still runs on a lot of trust, and on the honoring of that trust. Because without trust, a lot of things simply cannot operate. Even in writing here, I have to trust WordPress to deliver a smooth blogging experience.

We live in a postmodern world where relativism is usually the way to go. But in truth, there are certain absolute principles like trust that are still essential to the cycle of life.

Habit tracker: Week 3/4 Post 1/5


A Happy Place

via Daily Prompt: Candle

“Which one do you like?”

He jerks his head away from inspecting the fake plants as I hold a deep-red scented candle under his nose.

“This is ‘Sweet Berries’,” I say, then swap to a gray candle, “And this is ‘Calming Spa’.”

He dutifully sniffs, pauses, then shrugs and smiles.

“Both are nice. You choose.”

“Okay! ‘Sweet Berries’ it is!”

Then I skip away to return the gray candle to its shelf, while he goes back to the fake greens, deciding which of the deceiving plastics is deemed worthy to go home with us.

This is one of our happy places — IKEA. From admiring the cleverly-designed showrooms, to measuring tables and testing couches, to falling prey to pretty knick-knacks like scented candles and storage organizers. Sometimes, we just roam through and end up at the restaurant for Swedish meatballs, salmon, and dark chocolate almond cake. Oh, and the occasional ice-cream after the check-out counters.

It’s not just us. I know of at least a few other couples who call IKEA a happy place too. Why is it so? What is IKEA’s secret formula that so appeals to lovebirds young and old?

Maybe there’s just something about shopping for a house together. IKEA’s aesthetic display of bedrooms and kitchens suggest that one’s dreams for the future can indeed become a reality. Maybe it’s in the very inspecting and deliberating — regardless whether it’s a bed frame or scented candle — that is the outworking of two minds learning to communicate and compromise for the good of both.

Maybe IKEA just found the right formula for being the right space for two hearts to come together for a common vision. In this case, the vision is not about having sleek furniture in a house. The vision is of building a home —  which is the real happy place.

Habit tracker: Week 2/4; Post 3/5


Even When It Hurts

via Daily Prompt: Promises

When it comes to life experiences and faces, I’ve been known to have a higher-than-average memory. Although I have to say that nowadays, either age is catching up on me, or today’s tech-infused instant lifestyle is simply more distracting.

But when it comes to tasks, I just cannot remember as well. Household chores have been left undone too many times to count. Once I put a kettle to boil, and the next time I came into the kitchen (for something else!), all the water had evaporated and the kettle close to melting. I’m thankful that nothing more dangerous happened!

If it’s tasks affecting only me, it doesn’t matter if I forget. But I’m prone to saying “Yes” to completing a task or helping someone out, and then find it wiped clean from memory. I suppose it’s okay if it’s a small task. But my negligence have led to several painful consequences and the loss of trust. Those repercussions and the fact that they’re my fault keep me up at night sometimes.

To give an insight into this, here’s a story. Once someone had passed me CDs of kids’ praise songs and asked me to write them out on boards to be used in a certain Sunday School. I happily said yes, went home, kept the CDs and boards nicely so I won’t lose them… and forgot. Months later, the lady approached me about it, and I couldn’t even remember her asking in the first place. We didn’t know each other very well, so I certainly don’t blame her for not trusting me with work after that. Add to that one or two similar incidences that year, and my reliability was questioned with a severe rebuke that truly honestly hurt.

Perhaps not everyone sees this problem of not keeping promises as important. But I value integrity highly, and this time I had to look in the mirror.

One verse became instrumental in pushing me to take action and do better. Psalm 15 is a description of a righteous man, and verse 4 describes him as:

“He who swears to his own hurt and does not change.”

That’s the NKJV version. The other versions are such:

  • “who keeps an oath even when it hurts, and does not change their mind;” (NIV)
  • “He keeps his word even to his own disadvantage and does not change it [for his own benefit];” (AMP)
  • “who keeps his word whatever the cost,” (HCSB)
  • someone who keeps their promise even when it hurts;” (CEB)

The gravity in which a promise is taken impresses on and convicts me. Sure you can say that a promise is not as “big a deal” as an oath. But if one can’t even keep a promise, who’s to say that one can keep an oath or vow, or stay committed? The true character of a person is revealed in the smaller insignificant things.

So I had to ask myself: Am I forgetful because it’s just my natural make-up? Or is it actually a true measure of my heart and how much I value others?

In these few years, I’ve been working extra hard to remember and fulfill promises I’ve kept, small or big. I do this by listing down every single thing I’ve been asked to do, even it’s just a request for a short prayer.

Also, I’ve been more careful with the promises I do make. Instead of saying yes to everything, I check my time and capability. It’s made me give more weight to my ‘Yes’ and ‘No’s.

I still forget and make mistakes. I still stay up some nights. But the only thing I can do is to try again in the morning in renewed grace and mercy.

Do any of you struggle with keeping promises?

Habit tracker: Week 2/4 Post 2/5


Finding the Element

via Daily Prompt: Original

For some six months now, I’ve been working at a publishing house in Singapore. It’s a part-time stint because I have other commitments, but I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time with this company.

I’ve been writing for years, and have been an editor for a magazine as well as an online portal. But for a while now, I’ve wanted to tap into book editing and proofreading. Hence this opportunity was a goal achieved.

I can tell you that it’s exciting to hold in your hand a crisp new book just out of the printers — even more so when you know that you were involved in its creation, no matter the size of the role. I can also tell you that a lot of hard work really does go into that one book.

One of the biggest challenges of a book editor is in determining whether a manuscript will ever see the light of day. A wall of shelves filled to the brim with books is inspiring and exhilarating! But that is also the very issue. There are just so many books out there with only so many subjects to cover.

The challenge then is in finding that element of originality within a familiar topic. What can this author offer that is different from the rest? What is the manuscript’s unique selling point? And when you find that element of innovation, that’s when it becomes the vision that hours of sweat, tired eyes and cramped hands are put into achieving.

Bringing this to personal application, I need to critique myself as an editor. In this year 2016, there are thousands of blogs, a lot of them well-established in their niches. Just take blogs on clean eating — it’s amazing how many good ones I’ve come across, and how many more I keep finding.

So what is the original that can offer?

Habit tracker: Week 2/4; Post 1/5


Daily Prompt: Argument

via Daily Prompt: Argument

I’m trying to finish an article for a website I contribute to. It’s only some 700-800 words but it’s turning out harder than anticipated. Right now, I’m having an argument with myself on choosing the right real-life illustration that would best fit the topic and angle. I’m also wondering why I chose this topic in the first place. And I’m also arguing with myself on whether it’s best to leave it as it is, call it a night, and look at it with fresh eyes tomorrow morning.

But it’s due tomorrow morning.


I’m sorry but this is all I have for today’s prompt. I need all the brain energy I can afford to be focused on this one article.

Until next week.

Habit tracker: Week 1/4; Post 5/5


Between Two Worlds

via Daily Prompt: Border

If you’re a Malaysian who’s ever worked in Singapore, or who happened to be visiting during a peak season, you probably share the same amazement I have at how getting from one country to the country right next to it feels more like traveling a halfway across the world.

Seriously. We’re separated only by a straits, and it’s not even that wide. If the fit or determined really wanted to, they could swim across. Whether the border control officers catch you — which they most probably will seeing how there’s not much territory to monitor in the first place — is your problem.

It takes about four hours to travel back to my hometown door-to-door. But during peak hours, the sheer volume of people commuting combined with the fact that there are only two bridges to get across could mean super long delays.

The actual traveling on the road is usually uneventful, but it’s the little stretch of going through two immigration checkpoints that does it in. Our ex-housemates just visited today and recounted how their recent trip home was their longest yet. They left Singapore at 8pm… and arrived home at 4am!

So far, I’ve yet to experience such a nightmare, as we try our best to travel off hours. The longest I’ve gone through was about 5-6 hours, and that was enough for me.

It really makes me ponder about how modern-day institutions and infrastructures may be well-intended to maintain order and peace. But sometimes they end up dividing more than uniting.

Habit tracker: Week 1/4; Post 4/5


The Time I Almost Drowned My Sister

via Daily Prompt: Daring (Wrote this yesterday but didn’t have time to polish it)

It was 2001. My family and I were on our very first island holiday ever. The island is Pulau Besar (previously Pulau Babi Besar) off Mersing, Johor. It’s a laidback place with no nightlife or shopping. All you have is the sun, sand and sea.

The first morning, we went to the end of the wooden jetty to snorkel. The waters were so clear you could see schools of fishes swimming around and under the jetty. It was my sister’s and my first time snorkeling and we were excited.

That is, until we were actually in the water. Then I panicked.

Now I love swimming. But this time, I was flopping and splashing around, basically in pure panic. In fact, it got so bad that I eventually clung onto my sister and pulled her under.

That’s when my dad stepped in. He called us out of the water, set me down on the jetty steps and looked me in the eye.

“Okay. You’re a good swimmer. You love swimming. What’s going on???”

“I’m afraid of great white sharks.”

Now if we were in Australia, I suppose that’s a perfectly reasonable answer. But this was Malaysia. We’ve got no great whites.

But the thing is, some weeks before the holiday, I read a news report about a great white being found off the coast somewhere. Experts concluded that it was swept here by currents. It was a small one and didn’t attack anyone.

It was a snippet of a story, but enough to haunt my imagination that morning, and haunt it badly.

I don’t exactly remember what happened after. My parents were amused, but they could also see that my fear was real. Somehow, they managed to make me see that it was unfounded, prayed, and got me to calm down. My dad coaxed me back into the waters, and although the fear still lingered, I fought it. By the end of the trip, my sister and I were swimming on our own and happily jumping off the jetty many times over.

Just a few weeks ago, my family revisited the island. It was the same sun, sand and sea. It’s been 15 years since that first panic attack. In that time, I learned to face more fears – most of the time unfounded. I still am cautious, especially when the worries are valid. But suffice it to say that I’ve grown up quite a bit.

I’m not adventurous by nature, but thanks to nurture, I think I’ve become a bit more daring.

Habit tracker: Week 1/4; Post 3/5