One day while I was in the midst of an uneventful chore — I can’t remember now, probably folding laundry — I sat up with sudden realization that I’ve not blogged in a while.
What has it been? Weeks?
I looked at the calendar and counted five months. I had a mini heart attack.
This is an unusual occurrence for me. Well actually, writing blog posts between extremely long intervals of time is not unusual. But in those intervals, the unchecked to-do will haunt me constantly.
You have not been writing. You have not blogged. You still haven’t written that post. You have not blogged.
The inner nagger will haunt until I surrender and offer a sacrificial post to appease it.
This time, though, I was not haunted. I clean straight forgot I had a blog.
I then discovered that I clean straight forgot a few other things, too. Sunrise and sunset, I slept and I awoke, and I let the days slip into months without realizing it at all. This was particularly disconcerting because this year, I had been more intentional with my work, projects and time. So I was really baffled how I could have overlooked so much without missing them.
And then it dawned on me that something did happen five months ago. Something good. Something so good that it outshone almost everything else the minute it happened.
I got pregnant.
I cannot quite explain why this could have caused the lapse in memory. The pregnancy was anticipated. But I believe it’s because I was keeping my pregnancy a secret initially (except from family and close friends), and somehow that seal of silence inadvertently extended to other things like this blog.
It’s like, this was one of the BIGGEST and most exciting news to write about and yet I couldn’t. And other possible topics just didn’t seem as worthy. So I paused writing for a while, and in time this blog got neglected.
Upon this realization, I had to accept that my plans for this year didn’t turn out the way I expected. Yes, I now have to catch up on certain things to meet deadlines and prepare for the baby’s arrival. Yes, five months is a substantial loss of time.
But in the end, I’m not disappointed. Loss of time in plans meant gain of time in something else that may turn out to be of more value in the long run. I had let life happen. And life has proven itself to be an unpredictable but happy journey.